


For I Have Sinned

by Shattered_Gem



Category: Death Note
Genre: Angst, M/M, Religion, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-20
Updated: 2015-06-20
Packaged: 2018-04-05 08:35:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4173111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shattered_Gem/pseuds/Shattered_Gem
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I know where you go Mihael, I’ve seen the girl outside our window waiting for you downstairs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For I Have Sinned

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER  
> I do not own Death Note, or any of its characters. 
> 
> Having said that, this story is gory, and sad, if you are sensitive to such things, please heed this warning.
> 
> based upon this (loosely):  
> otpprompts:  
> Imagine your OTP, already married and happy together. Now imagine that Person A needed to go away for any reason. While they were gone, Person B was somehow killed.

Mello’s attitude changed about a month ago. Right after we moved into our new flat. Mello was always a night owl, both of us were, and he’d go out on the town or go for a walk on the docks at night around ten PM or so, but he always told me exactly where he was going to be because he knew about my anxiety. I’m afraid of losing him again, and sometimes that leads to arguments, which makes him leave. Normally he’d come back a few hours later, crawl into bed and apologize when he thought I was asleep. But then, he started staying out later, sometimes until dawn.

         Then one day it happened. “Mel? Where are you going?” When the sound of his boot hitting the floor ceased, I knew I shouldn’t have said anything. I cringed.

         “Why do you want to know?” His jaw was clenched, that much I knew. He was at the door and I was on the couch facing away from him, because I couldn’t bear looking him in the eyes.

         “Just wondering…” I mumble looking at my hands.

         “How about you stick to your own life? Looks like you’re doing a _wonderful_ job at that.” I had no idea where my courage came from but I stood up and faced him, my hands clenched tightly into fists.

         “Oh is that it?! I’m not beautiful enough for you anymore! I’m too broken?! I know where you go _Mihael_! I’ve seen the girl outside our window waiting for you downstairs! I trusted you! I thought that maybe after all of these years you’d still remember the promise you made me! Of course you would too! How didn’t I see it coming? A man like you doesn’t settle down, he sleeps around, shacks up with whoever can fuck him the hardest and then when he gets bored he moves to the next one! Congratulations Mihael Jeevas! You’re single!” I say throwing my little gold band onto the floor. “I’ll have the papers to you by tomorrow night.”

I’m still locked in a stare down with him. His eyes are so cold and he hasn’t flinched, not in the slightest.

“Mail Jeevas,” he says, his voice completely unreadable, “you have no idea what trust is or what pain is. For 13 years I’ve looked after you, cared about you! For 13 years I watched you put those damn cigarettes out with your fucking knuckle! For 13 years I loved you!”

“You left after 8! You bastard!”

“You couldn’t understand the situation if you tried! That girl she’s not-“

“Not what? A hooker? I don’t think she is! I just think that she’s your girlfriend and as your _ex_ husband I would love to meet her!”

“You won’t even listen to my explanation!”

“There is nothing to explain!”

“Fuck you!” And he walks out the door.

I tell myself that looking out the window is a bad idea but I have to. I see Mello greet the blonde girl with a kiss on the cheek and they both get onto his motorbike. My tears were silent but my heart hammered, I always knew deep down that he’d find something better. I wiped my cheeks with the back of my hand and sniffled. I grabbed the pen off the counter and the pad of paper on the desk. And I began to write.

 

 

MELLO POV

 

“Mihael, you look horrible.” She says greeting me with a hug.

“I just need some air is all.”

“Is it Matt? Have you told him about me yet?” She asks putting on her helmet.

“That’s just it, he found out about you, and he really lost it tonight, he wants a divorce.” I say starting the engine.

“A divorce? And you just left? Mihael Keehl! Get your ass back in there! Now!” She says swinging over the bike and grabbing me by the ear and pulling me into the apartment complex. She shoves me into the elevator and presses the floor button before stepping out. Before I know it the door to our floor opens.

“Matt?” I ask opening the door slowly making sure I’m ready to duck if he throws something.

“Mail?” It’s still silent. I start to get a bit worried.

“Mel is that you?” He asks, walking out from our bedroom with one of his hands behind his back.

“Yes, it’s me, oh Mail, I’m so sorry.” I say running to hug him.

“Don’t worry you’ll be single by morning.” I pull away a bit and I notice his pupils are huge.

“Matt?” I shake him a bit, “Matt?!” He falls a bit and I catch him by his arms, that’s also when I notice the orange thing in is hand. I snatch it and before I realize what it is Matt falls out of my arms and onto the floor.

“Matt?” I say tapping his cheek, “did you take all of these?” He smiles and that’s when I notice the red foam on his teeth. My hand starts searching for the phone.

“No!” He says and grabs at my hand with what strength he has left, then he coughs and red splatters his black and white stripes.

“Read note.” He sputters and I stare at him for a moment more before tears fall from my eyes and I run to the counter to grab the letter. Once I have it I kneel next to him again.

“Read it Miha-“ He starts having a coughing fit, and grabs my hand. “Please.” He begs.

With my other hand I open it and begin to read.

_I don’t need to address this. There is only one person who would read this, and that’s you. ~~Mello~~ Mihael, I love you so much but I knew one day this would happen. Look at me, over 6 ft and 40 kg soaking wet. Anxiety pill bottles at every corner of this house. I used to be able to deal with living from one fix to another, because you were there._

The hand in mine has gone cold and limp. But I have to keep reading, that what he wanted me to do.

_Then I noticed the girl. How secretive you got. I knew it was a matter of time before you left me again. You know you remind me of Whitesnake ‘Like a drifter I was born to walk alone.’_

That was his favorite band. I laugh a bit and wipe the tears from my eyes.

_And domesticating you was wrong beyond belief. That god you believe in, would you mind giving him a good word on me here? I hear he listens to angels, and that way I know for sure I’ll see you whenever your day comes._

I scan over it and almost miss that last part.

_If nothing else you owe me this, who was she?_

I break out sobbing, crying hysterically as I drop the note and hug his body.

“Her name is Clara Keehl. She’s my sister… I was afraid bringing her over would be too much for you, so I- I’d meet her at night. I didn’t tell you so that you wouldn’t feel pressured.” I’m choking between every word.

“OH MY GOD!” I hear from the doorway, and then she’s dialing her cell. “My brother’s husband, he’s-he’s dead!”

I lay my head on his unmoving chest and I kiss his lips, the blood there stain my lips a bright red. Then he’s being pulled away. I cry and I kick and scream and bite. But they take him away.

* * *

 

Two days later they finished running tests on me and I was allowed home, Clara insisted on coming with me. I walked in and the house was askew, the way it had been that night. I went into our bedroom and curled up on the bed, it smelled like Matt. I opened our bedside drawer and found it, my very first pistol, it was silver and sleek, a prized possession of mine. I looked at the rosary around my neck and I held it for a moment. I know what Matt was saying about God and Angels was not to be taken seriously, but that didn’t stop me from talking to him.

“Please forgive me Father, for I have sinned. Please Father, look away.”

 

* * *

 

 

Last week, Mail and Mihael Jeevas, committed suicide in what can only be described as a sin of love. Mail, 20, died last Wednesday from an overdose and the first responders declared him as dead on arrival. Mihael, 20, died only three days ago, and we hear the story now live from Mihael’s sister, Clara.

“He was released from the hospital and I went home with him, we walked in the front door and he went straight to his bed and curled up. I went to the kitchen to start cleaning up and that’s when I hear the gunshot. When I went in there he was lying on the bed holding the gun and the suicide note Mail left him. It was the calmest I’d seen him in years.” 


End file.
